POSTAL 2

▶ Playing 3.1h played

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Playtime

3.1h

HLTB

~7h main

Achievements

24/89

27% complete

All Achievements

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

34.3%

Jan 2, 2026

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

13.1%

Jan 2, 2026

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Jan 2, 2026

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

22%

Jan 2, 2026

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

31.6%

Dec 31, 2025

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

12.6%

Dec 31, 2025

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Dec 31, 2025

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

46.4%

Dec 31, 2025

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

53.1%

Dec 31, 2025

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

62%

Dec 31, 2025

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

48.9%

Dec 31, 2025

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

8.7%

Dec 31, 2025

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

31.5%

Dec 31, 2025

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

32%

Dec 31, 2025

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

10%

Dec 31, 2025

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

33.7%

Dec 31, 2025

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

46.2%

Dec 31, 2025

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

48.7%

Dec 31, 2025

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

32.1%

Dec 31, 2025

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

28.1%

Dec 31, 2025

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

36.3%

Dec 31, 2025

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

37.2%

Dec 31, 2025

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

67.6%

Dec 31, 2025

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

56.6%

Dec 31, 2025

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Locked

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

3.1%

Locked

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

3.1%

Locked

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

3.3%

Locked

Ode to Eddings

3.3%

Locked

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

3.4%

Locked

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

3.6%

Locked

PooMasher

3.7%

Locked

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

3.7%

Locked

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

3.8%

Locked

Hobo Sexual

3.8%

Locked

Ladies Love Cake

3.8%

Locked

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

4.1%

Locked

Gary vs. The K. Man

4.1%

Locked

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

4.2%

Locked

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

4.4%

Locked

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

4.5%

Locked

Dick Message

4.5%

Locked

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

4.6%

Locked

Ape Gape

4.6%

Locked

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

4.7%

Locked

SCREW that game!

4.7%

Locked

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

4.8%

Locked

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Locked

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

5.4%

Locked

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

5.5%

Locked

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

5.5%

Locked

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

5.6%

Locked

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Locked

Ginger Mint

Locked

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

6.3%

Locked

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

6.4%

Locked

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

6.7%

Locked

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

8.1%

Locked

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

8.2%

Locked

John Rambo'd!

8.4%

Locked

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

8.5%

Locked

Found 'em faster than GWB

8.5%

Locked

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

8.9%

Locked

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Locked

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

9.1%

Locked

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

9.8%

Locked

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

9.8%

Locked

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

10.1%

Locked

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

10.2%

Locked

There's always money in the banana stand

10.4%

Locked

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

10.5%

Locked

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

11.4%

Locked

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

13%

Locked

You are not alone

13.7%

Locked

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

14%

Locked

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

14.4%

Locked

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

14.4%

Locked

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

14.9%

Locked

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

16.4%

Locked

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

17.5%

Locked

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

17.6%

Locked

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

18.7%

Locked

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

19.1%

Locked

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

19.8%

Locked

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

20%

Locked

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

20.1%

Locked

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

21.8%

Locked

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

25.2%

Locked

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

28.1%

Locked